Tag Archives: Music

The Sound of Silence (part 1 of 2 posts)

1 Reply

Summary: Appreciating Beethoven in a completely new way.

Conceptual image about human hearing

Note: I added updates to the bottom of this post. But it became so long that I posted a follow-up article.

I. Hearing and Music

As a musician, my hearing is precious to me. I love listening to and playing music, and when I’m doing neither, during almost every waking hour, some music is playing inside my head.

Sometimes I can get earworms that last for days. If the song is one I don’t like, I’ll listen to other music or concentrate on any of a handful of favorite works to push the offending earworm aside.

The idea of losing one’s hearing is so disturbing to contemplate, especially to musicians, that I imagine many may superstitiously avoid even thinking about the possibility.

I studied ASL years ago, was given a sign name, and find the language and Deaf Culture beautiful and fascinating.

I have been careful to protect my hearing. I almost always have earplugs in my pocket, wear them whenever I travel, and have musicians’ ear plugs I wear in every rehearsal and concert. Well into my late 50s, I have enjoyed excellent hearing with minimal loss.

Last September, the Newport Symphony performed a stunning work called “A Silence Haunts Me” by Jake Runestad.

This 2019 work for chorus and orchestra is inspired by a letter Ludwig van Beethoven had written to his brothers.

Beethoven penned this letter, known as the “Heiligenstadt Testament” in 1802. He never sent it, and it was discovered after his death. In it, Beethoven despairs over his hearing loss.

It was emotionally profound performance. Playing in the orchestra, we could not hear all the words being sung. But we heard enough. At one climactic moment, the chorus sings:

“Why? — Silence is God’s reply
— and so I beg me take my life —”

I highly recommend attending any performance of this extraordinary work. If you are a choral director or a member of a chorus, I encourage you to seek out this work and consider it for performance.

Since it is a recent composition, there are not many recordings, but here is one:

Just thinking about this piece can stir deep emotion in me. Little did I know I would soon understand it at a wholly new level.

II. Sudden Silence

A little over a week ago I underwent minor surgery during which I was put under general anesthesia. The surgery was successful.

I woke up with a dry, raw throat, most likely an after effect of intubation. It took a day or two for my throat to recover to where I could eat and swallow normally.

My left ear was also plugged when I woke up. I figured drainage and sinus congestion was the cause, but while my throat recovered, my left ear did not.

I took antihistamines, used nasal spray, took throat lozenges, and tried steam inhalation. Although all were successful in clearing any congestion, I still could not hear anything in my left ear. Maybe I had some other blockage either in the external or middle ear? I went to Urgent Care to have my ear inspected.

No fluid or infection was detected. They prescribed Prednisone and instructed me to see an Ear, Nose and Throat (ENT) doctor immediately. Since it was the weekend, I had to wait, worried and impatiently for Monday to try to see an ENT.

When Monday arrived, I called multiple ENT offices around the city to find an appointment. Most had no openings for a couple days. I found one office on the far side of town that had appointments available for an audiologist and an ENT. I got in my car and drove nearly an hour, anxious and worried about what I might learn.

The audiologist did a full battery of tests. I had gone through this just four years earlier, so I had a good baseline against which to measure.

The results were unnerving. My left side hearing loss was serious to profound — I could not distinguish words on the left side. The audiologist suspected I had SSNHL (Sudden Sensorineural Hearing Loss).

SSNHL is idiopathic – we don’t know what causes it. There are many theories, but none has been verified. The treatment is steroids, and it is important to take them as soon as the sudden hearing loss occurs – ideally within days. If one waits one or two weeks before treatment, chances of recovery greatly diminish.

To make matters worse, the ENT I had hoped to see was tied up in the operating room and wouldn’t be able to see me the same day. I would have to wait two excruciating days more to see an ENT.

Driving the long way home, thoughts of “A Silence Haunts Me” filled my head and overwhelmed my heart. What if I were to lose my hearing permanently? “Dr. Google” indicated I should have started taking steroids within 72 hours of onset, and I beat myself up for waiting longer than that period.

Wednesday finally came, and I saw an ENT. Thankfully, he was very thorough, compassionate, and explained everything to me. Yes, I do have SSNHL.

Since the Prednisone did not seem to be helping, the ENT recommended the next step, which he admitted sounded scary. He would be injecting steroids into my ear. I would receive three shots, one per week. He assured me this is the “gold standard” of treatment for SSNHL.

As unsettling as that treatment sounded, I would have let him do anything to increase my hope of recovery.

He also ordered an MRI to rule out any circulatory, growth, etc. conditions that could be the cause.

I asked him what the chances of recovery are. He said that about one-third of patients experience complete recovery, another third gain partial recovery, and the last third do not recover at all. As stark as those odds were, they were better than I had been contemplating before meeting him.

He also said that because a) I had started my Prednisone regimen early (within two weeks) and b) that I still had some hearing in my left ear, he was optimistic about my chances of partial to full recovery.

He told me about one patient that had absolutely zero hearing from SSNHL. He was not optimistic about that patient’s chances, but they actually recovered most if not all their hearing.

III. My first rehearsal

I had not performed in four months. I was recovering from a shoulder issue, and the evening of the same day as my ENT appointment was my first rehearsal. I didn’t know what to expect.

For the first hour, I could not hear myself at all.

As musician, especially a string player, this is akin to flying blind – you have no idea whether you are playing in tune. My fingers moved with muscle memory to their spots on the neck of my viola, and I just had to hope and pray.

Gradually, my right ear began hearing a little of my own playing, and it wasn’t bad. I made it through rehearsal without incident.

This weekend we will perform an ambitious concert including Bernstein, Verdi, and Korngold.

Beethoven is not on the program, but he will be in my mind and heart as we perform.

The next month will reveal if and to what extent my hearing returns.

Update 1: Post-Concert (4 Days After the Onset)

I was able to make it through 4 hours of rehearsal Friday, two hours of rehearsal Saturday, and concerts both Saturday night and Sunday afternoon.

Although I haven’t noticed any change in my left ear, I have been able to adjust to hearing myself playing a little bit with right ear. Only at moments, though.

My next shot in the ear will be in a couple days. I am also scheduled to get an MRI on the same day.

I wait with hope with as much grace and as little anxiety as I can muster.

Update 2: Second Shot and MRI (15 Days after Onset)

I received my second shot in the ear today. I will get a third one a week from today. Amazingly (and rather scarily), they administered no anesthesia and were able to insert the shot through the tiny pinprick created by the shot one week earlier. I experienced no discomfort, heard some odd noises, and could slightly feel the drops that were injected. I experienced no pain, dizziness, or nausea.

Less than an hour later, I arrived at medical imaging for an MRI. I spent 30 minutes inside the massive tube listening to classic Rock punctuated by the whines, pounds, and buzzes of the machine.

Since my left ear is so impaired, it sounded like they were only imaging the right side of my head. I guess having reduced hearing is one small advantage to enduring an MRI scan.

I will receive my third ear shot next week, and the following week I will have a comprehensive hearing test to see if any of my hearing has been restored, and to what extent. I remain quietly hopeful.

Update 3: Acupuncturist (17 Days after Onset)

I had appointments with both my chiropractor and my acupuncturist. The good news is that my shoulder is healed. I still need to exercise it to strengthen it and increase flexibility, but after the rigorous and extended workout it endured rehearsing and performing last week, I experienced no pain.

I informed my acupuncturist about my hearing loss. He said he could assist me in healing my ear and promptly inserted about four needles around my left ear. He gave me added hope for recovery.

Update 4: Acupuncture and Ear Shot #3 (22 Days after Onset)

Up to this point, I have mostly kept a calm demeanor, letting myself rest and heal and keeping note of any changes however small I might be experiencing. I woke today, though, with some dread and heavy sadness I haven’t felt in a few weeks regarding my condition.

Today I had my third acupuncture treatment focused on my hearing. I always concentrate on anything I notice or experience during and after my acupuncture treatments, and when I shared them with my acupuncturist, he was upbeat and expressed confidence positive things were happening. That gave my mood a boost.

I then visited my ENT to receive my third and final shot in the ear. When asked if I was noticing any improvement, I answered, “no” and saw their face fall. That hit me hard.

There are instances where hearing recovers weeks or even a couple months after the shots have been administered. But they normally see improvements by now.

She gave me a larger shot, filling my middle ear with corticosteroid, then left me for 20 minutes to let the drugs hopefully permeate my thus far recalcitrant hearing anatomy.

I will return next week to get a full audiological test which will provide quantitative measurements of any changes or improvements.

I remain as calm and patient as I can, although today am experiencing more fractures in my equilibrium and serenity.

Update 5: Second Hearing Test and ENT Appointments (30 Days after Onset)

Today, I received another in depth hearing exam to compare with the one I had a little over three weeks earlier. The results showed no improvement in my left-side hearing. In fact, there was one higher frequency at which my hearing had degraded from “serious” to “profound.”

The ENT does not think there is any chance that I will experience recovery.

I have scheduled an appointment with another audiologist to discuss various technological solutions, the most likely being a crossover hearing aid (CROS) designed specifically for single-sided deafness.

One day later I met with my acupuncturist (who is also an MD), who encouraged me to not to lose hope. He allowed that the odds are long, but that in every group of people, there will be outliers. Additionally, he believes the second hearing test was performed too early, and that healing and recovery may still occur. HIs words were encouraging, although I have to acknowledge my chances are slim.

I have also reached out to my neurologist to make sure there isn’t anything else going on which could either explain my hearing loss. Additionally, I want to rule out anything that might lead to further neuron death or sensory losses.

Update 6: Audiologist Hearing Aid Appointment (37 Days after Onset)

Today I visited an audiologist recommended to me by my ENT. This one specializes in various hearing aid/surgery options.

The audiologist was friendly, boisterous, and a font of knowledge. As expected, we’re starting with crossover hearing aids. Oregon law grants me a 60-day trial period during which I can return the hearing aids for any reason. That 60-day period resets when I get my second set. Since I’ve never had hearing aids before, it’s nice to know I have the easy option to compare sets rather than being locked into whatever I choose initially.

I decided to try a set that gives me a lot of options to tweak and adjust. My thinking is I may have one configuration for everyday work, another for conversations in noisy environments, one for when I’m rehearsing and performing with the symphony, etc. I’ll receive them in time to test them on a short overseas trip as well as during my next orchestra concert with Oregon East Symphony.

We also briefly discussed a couple invasive surgical solutions:

  • Bone conduction crossover surgery (aka contralateral routing of signal or CROS via implant)
  • Cochlear Implant (CI)

I’m not keen on invasive surgery, so of course we’ll try crossover hearing aids first. Hopefully the non-surgical solution will be satisfactory.

Update 7: Naturopathic Medicine (51 days after onset)

Two possible treatment paths have come to an end a new one has started. My ENT has no more treatment to suggest. All I can do is wait for my crossover hearing aids, which are due to arrive in a couple weeks.

My acupuncturist has completed his regimen of treatments. He urges me to remain hopeful. He thinks there is still room for improvement and to remain open to that possibility.

A good friend of mine encouraged me to see a naturopathic doctor. With their help, I found and secured an appointment with a recommended practitioner.

That appointment was last week (42 days after onset). The doctor suggested several therapies, openly acknowledging that none has been proven through human clinical trials to cure SSNHL. They have shown positive results in animal tests and in human cases for other ailments.

I figured, they can’t hurt, and if there is a chance they can help, I’ll try them.

It’s been a little over a week, I have not noticed any changes.

I have continued sharing my journey with a second blog post.

2. A Chance, Once-In-A-Lifetime Musical Moment

Leave a reply

Summary: Chance timing leads to an amazing, unforgettable moment of music and email.

The weather the last week we were in Portugal was especially rainy and windy.

Duoro River rising uncomfortably close to the level of the banks

In fact, the Duoro River separating Porto from Gaia flooded its banks the last day we were there. We saw the rising river the night before. But on our last day the winds and driving rain kept us close to our hotel, so we didn’t see the flooding firsthand.

Annie wanted to brave the elements to visit the Santa Clara Church (Igreja de Santa Clara) which was just a 6-minute walk from our hotel. It was supposed to be a spectacular Baroque style cathedral.

The wind blew hard and turned my sturdy umbrella inside out at one point, but we made it.

Upon entering we were told that visiting hours were just now closing due to a concert. Well, could we attend the concert? Yes, for €5 each. We paid and entered a cathedral entirely gilded from floor to ceiling. It was breathtaking. 

Interior of the spectacular Santa Clara Cathedral in Porto, Portugal

The organ was playing and an unseen ethereal soprano voice was heard singing a lamentation. The sound emanated from the choir loft.

After the song was finished, a woman invited us up the stairs to a room where nuns had gathered and sung, unseen, during prior centuries. The front of the room had a large window into the cathedral. A gilded wooden grid prevented those in the cathedral below to see into the room.

Nun’s sanctuary above and behind the main cathedral; organ case visible to the right

A wooden box the size of a large wardrobe housed the organ keyboard, and our guide, who turned out to be the organist/choir director told us about the music (composed by an 18th century Portuguese composer) the organ, etc. She addressed the assembled audience in three languages: English, Portuguese, and Spanish. 

Organist/Choir director speaking. The main cathedral is visible through the gilded grid behind her.

Two young woman stood by, and after the organist finished talking, she sat down and they performed a couple more pieces by the same composer.

After the concert, the organist answered questions, then invited people up to play the organ. A few visitors poked a single key here or there. I couldn’t resist. 

I quickly pulled up a simplified arrangement of Allegri’s incomparable Miserere mei, Deus on my cell phone. I stumbled slowly through it, squinting at the score on the tiny screen balanced on a rickety, 300-year-old wooden music rack. The sound of the organ was subdued and warm as the prior performance had just been for just the small room we were in.

The choir director, apparently pleased either that someone was playing an actual piece or with my musical choice (or both) leaned in close and said, “don’t be scared” — and literally pulled out the stops.

Suddenly, the sound of the great organ boomed forth filling not just our room but the entire church below. The sound felt like it was resonating in and through my body. I struggled to keep playing, self-conscious of my many mistakes and emotionally and physically shaken by the aural bombast.

I played only a page of the music before stopping. That was enough — and an actual church service was about to begin. 

We thanked the organist profusely for the opportunity (how often does one get to play an 18th century organ?). When she found out it was our honeymoon, she was effusive in wishing us happiness and was glad to have made this memorable experience part of our celebratory vacation.

Descending the stairs and exiting out into the driving rain, my hands and body continued to tremble for several minutes in the aftermath of such a physical and aural musical sensation. 

What were the chances?

Had we visited just an hour earlier, we’d have seen the spectacular church interior, taken photos, read some plaques, then left. Annie laughed when she noted that the regular admission was €4. By mere chance of timing (and €1 extra) we got this amazing and unforgettable experience. 

I would have to say this experience was, in the accurate use of the word…awesome.

  1. Introduction: Three Weeks in Portugal – A Blog Series
  2. A Chance, Once-In-A-Lifetime Musical Moment
  3. The Impact of Just a Few Words
  4. Eating Well in Portugal
  5. Drinking Well in Portugal
  6. Speaking Finnish on Madeira
  7. Madeira – An Adventure Awaits You!

Rest In Peace, Professor Lehrer

Leave a reply

Tom Lehrer passed away yesterday at age 97. Harvard alum and professor of mathematics, Lehrer generated thousands of fans worldwide despite having a short performance career and limited discography. Here is a thoughtful obituary just published by the New York Times.

We owned all three of his original vinyl records, “Songs By Tom Lehrer” (1955), “An Evening Wasted with Tom Lehrer” (1959), and “That Was The Year That Was” (!965). I remember listening to them from an age way too young to understand the black and biting satire they contained.

Despite stating his website would be shut down, Tom Lehrer’s site happily remains live. It contains all his song lyrics, sheet music, and recordings.

Those who knew his songs loved the witty lyrics often containing hilarious rhymes:

“These are the only ones of which the news has come to Ha’vard,
And there may be many others but they haven’t been discavard.”
– closing lyrics to “The Elements“

The dark, sometimes bordering on gruesome images his songs sometimes conjured often were carried by lovely melodies. My father and I performed dinner music when I was in junior high and high school, including “The Wiener Schnitzel Waltz,” “When You Are Old and Gray,” and “I Hold Your Hand In Mine.” The first two, upbeat and lively Viennese waltzes speak of the transience and superficiality of youthful beauty and lust. The last, a sweet, romantic melody delivers a shudder-inducing love letter from a necrophiliac.

Performing dinner music with my father back in the 1980’s

His song, “Pollution” was undoubtedly the first environmentalist song I learned. His “We Will All Go Together When We Go” resonated for me and my generation, growing up in the looming shadow of mutually assured destruction. I was a big fan of “The Masochism Tango” for probably a decade before I had a clue what that word meant (later after I took up ballroom dancing, I couldn’t ignore what a great tango the song really is!).

In my teens, I was enjoyed hearing Lehrer’s songs on the syndicated radio show, “Dr Demento.” I was delighted when I got to college and found many kindred Lehrer fans with and for whom to sing.

The Tom Lehrer songbook from which my father and I performed

I wrote a letter to Lehrer in November, 2009, requesting permission to arrange, perform, and sell an arrangement of “The Masochism Tango.” People love his music, I wrote, although “I daresay some would have blanched had they heard the lyrics.”

He graciously wrote me back a hand-signed letter granting me permission to all of the above. We exchanged a couple more letters. The last letter he wrote me, in July, 2010, he closed with:

“Again, no payment will be required. If, however, you ever make a lot of money from it, please feel free to send me some.”

Those two hand-signed letters will remain treasures in my collection.

Click here if you are interested in the sheet music to my string quartet arrangement of “The Masochism Tango.”

In October, 2020, Lehrer announced he was relinquishing the rights to of his songs and lyrics. “[P]ermission is hereby granted to anyone to set any of these lyrics to their own music, or to set any of this music to their own lyrics, and to publish or perform their parodies or distortions of these songs without payment or fear of legal action.”

Long before Tim Minchin, far more biting than Steve Allen, Tom Lehrer will remain a giant in my parody song repertoire.

The word, “Lehrer,” means “teacher” in German. You taught us a lot through humor and music.

Rest in Peace, Professor Lehrer!

The Principal of the Viola

Leave a reply

Last weekend I played principal viola in a concert with the Oregon East Symphony (OES).

Although I have performed for over two decades with the Newport Symphony and occasionally subbed with other orchestras (such as OES), I’ve only played principal viola once before last week.

What is a Principal Musician?

The principal is the leader of a section of instruments. There is a principal cello, principal viola, principal 2nd violin, as well as principal percussion, horn, etc. The principal 1st violin is called the concert master and has additional responsibilities.

The principal leads their section. That can include assigning parts when multiple voices are written. In string sections, the principal may suggest particular bowings and fingerings. They are expected to help visually cue when the section is to start playing after a long pause in the music, and so on. Sometimes, composers may write a solo specifically for the principal musician. For this reason, the principal musician is typically the most skilled member of that section.

Accepting the Role

I knew I was not the most skilled violist in the section, and when first offered the position, encouraged them to pick someone stronger. But they insisted I was the one they wanted, so I buckled down for the task.

Rarely does the viola section get to play the melody in an orchestra. They more typically play a supporting role, offering harmony, doubling with other sections (cellos, bassoons, etc.) or the “pa pa” rhythm in a waltz “oom-pa-pa.” Once in a while, composers like Brahms and Dvořák favor the viola section with short phrases of melody. Off the top of my head, I could count on one hand the number of symphonic works I can think of that have an actual viola solo.

As luck would have it, this concert featured a rare viola solo.

The Sorcerer’s Apprentice

Illustration of Der Zauberlehrling. From: German book, “Goethe’s Werke”, 1882, drawing by Ferdinand Barth (Künstler) (1842–1892)

One of the pieces of the program was “The Sorcerer’s Apprentice” by Paul Dukas. Based on poem by Goethe and made popular in Walt Disney’s 1940 animated film Fantasia, it vividly depicts the story of the young sorcerer, bored and tired with his assigned of task carrying buckets of water, deciding to use magic to enchant a broom to do the work instead.

He is unable to stop the broom. He even resorts to splitting the broom with an axe only to see the individual pieces and splinters continue the work. He completely loses control of the situation and the room floods with rising water. The old sorcerer returns, and with a wave of his wand, quickly reverses the spell.

Mickey Mouse as “The Sorcerer’s Apprentice” in Disney’s Fantasia (1940)

Musically, each character in the story has a dedicated theme. The old sorcerer has an ethereal melody played by the upper strings. The enchanted broom (later brooms) has a distinctive march played by the bassoon.

After the return of the old sorcerer and his climactic spell ending the brooms’ enchantment (2:03 in the clip above), the musical theme for the old sorcerer is played (2:24), and a short, mournful melody is played on solo viola. In Disney’s Fantasia, Mickey Mouse, who plays the Sorcerer’s Apprentice returns to his mentor the magical hat while wearing a chastened and embarrassed expression (2:32). The solo viola plays its melody twice (although the second time is cut in the abbreviated Fantasia version).

Fates Collude Against Me

The week leading up to the rehearsals and concert I was alarmed to find my left ear was blocked. I tried drops to remove any ear wax, took antihistamines, and found little relief. A healthcare provider peered in my ears and perceived no infection or wax, but she did see some fluid. She recommended saline nasal rinses, nasal decongestant spray, and failing that, a nasal steroid spray (Flonase).

At first rehearsal, I could hear almost nothing out of my left ear, which is the one closest to my instrument. I couldn’t tell if I was in tune at all during the first rehearsal. It was nerve wracking!

The veritable apothecary of medications started to take effect, and as I worked through the various rehearsals, my hearing gradually improved. My friends and colleagues gave me encouragement and helpfully answered my request for feedback and advice on my solo. Come concert day, I was feeling reasonably confident.

An overdressed principal violist

I showed up in my concert tuxedo … and saw everyone was dressed in open collar black shirts. My heart sank into my stomach. Rereading an earlier email, I found the part I had missed: “For the performance, dress all in black and for comfort. Tuxedos will probably be a little too much to bear. Short sleeved shirts/sleeveless dresses are totally acceptable attire.”

Great. So, I was overdressed (and likely going to overheat).

But happily, it all worked out in the end. I was satisfied with my solo and was humbled to receive praise from several musicians and members of the audience.

Perhaps the magic of the music buoyed me in my time of need.

Healing Harmonies

4 Replies

Update: This post was written long before the pandemic. Although things are opening up, I remain cautious and have been hosting karaoke parties online, which you can read about here.

Last night I attended a karaoke birthday party for the daughter of one of my high school friends. Anyone who knows me knows that I love to sing karaoke. I even got to sing karaoke in its country of origin, Japan, a few years ago.

I met the birthday girl’s siblings, a cousin, and a friend, and an evening of joyful song and harmonies ensued. I found it especially heart-warming to see siblings and mother happily singing together in harmony.

I have written why I like karaoke (I used to avoid it) and want to share that essay again here.

Learning to Love Karaoke
By Toby Loftus, 2017

I sing karaoke. A lot. Nearly once a week finds me in any of a number of area karaoke bars singing with friends. I recently sang karaoke in Japan, and thus checked one item off my bucket list. I was not always so enamored with karaoke. Indeed, like many, I used to avoid karaoke and thought poorly of those who partook. This is the story of my journey from resistance and judgement to enthusiastic embrace and evangelism.

What possesses a person to get up in front of strangers, many possibly inebriated, and sing (or at least make an attempt)? When I was younger, I supposed it was a need for attention, and, knowing my own predilection for the spotlight – often to hide my insecurity at the cost of more deep, vulnerable connection with others – my resistance to taking part was pretty firm and automatic. I judged the karaoke aficionado similar to the person who thinks, incorrectly, they are funny and entertaining while commandeering a mic – much to everyone’s great dread and discomfort.

Part of my resistance was due to my identity as a musician. Classically trained, starting at age four to play the violin and other instruments subsequently, I’ve never had any vocal instruction save for a couple years in junior high choir. I can carry a melody and know when I’m out of tune, but I’ve never considered myself a singer, really. As comfortable and versatile I may feel with a viola under my chin, I’ve never had that level of comfort with my own voice. Sometimes things come out of my voice I don’t intend, and like most people, I shudder with discomfort when I hear recordings of my own voice. There is something really unvarnished about singing, and doing so, especially in front of strangers, can feel like standing alone, naked and vulnerable.

When I was a kid, my father loved to have sing-a-long parties. He collected sheet music of old pop tunes from the 30s and 40s. He mimeographed pages of song lyrics and made makeshift song booklets. He was always trying to get a group of people to sing these old songs. I never fully understood the appeal, but I went along with it. Sometimes as a family we’d sing some old turn-of-the-century songs in 4-part harmony. I liked that, just as I liked playing string quartets and block flute duets and trios. Playing string quartets is, to this day, one of my favorite activities, and I’ve added my own compositions and arrangements to a growing library of quartet music I enjoy reading with friends.

I do like to sing by myself, and I often rewrite song lyrics for fun. Since Christmas carols are played repeatedly for weeks, if not months before December, I’m usually so sick of them that changing the lyrics in my head is one way I amuse myself and maintain my sanity. I have also played in the pit orchestra for musicals. By the end of the many rehearsals and shows, everyone knows every song lyric and line. So I’ll rewrite the lyrics to amuse myself and my fellow musicians and actors. I also like to choose a favorite song and rewrite the lyrics for birthdays, anniversaries, and other special occasions for friends. In all, I’ve probably rewritten over three dozen song lyrics. But singing alone, or singing for or with friends is different than karaoke. It’s safe, and fun, whereas a karaoke setting is quite another thing.

My first karaoke experience happened several years ago. My eldest brother loves to sing karaoke and celebrated a birthday with a party in a private karaoke suite. I decided to get up and sing a Sinatra tune. It didn’t go badly, and it wasn’t unpleasant. Maybe there was something else about this I was missing.

Another time, during a weekend where I was performing with the Newport Symphony, some acquaintances suggested some after-concert karaoke at a local dive bar. Okay, I decided to give it a try. As I entered the bar in my tuxedo, all eyes were upon me as I looked for my friends. I took a deep breath and walked through the bar as confidently as I could, finally locating them in an adjacent room. My friend, Melissa, was so enthusiastic and encouraging, I couldn’t help but be disarmed of some of my judgement and insecurity, and so I got up and sang, appropriately, “Sharp Dressed Man” and got a rousing ovation from the locals. That was kinda fun!

I started doing this regularly in Newport, coaxing fellow musicians into joining me. We became regulars, recognized and enthusiastically received by the locals and the KJ of the Newport bar whenever we’d show up. I loved getting to see and hear my musician friends sing. The surprise of hearing their voices and seeing what songs and genres they would choose was far removed from the relatively narrow genre of symphonic music I had previously played and associated with them.

At the beginning of 2017, I decided I wanted to play more chamber music, and I wanted to sing more karaoke. I now have in my car a USB drive containing the Billboard top hits from 1946-2004 which I regularly listen to, finding songs to add to my list of possible karaoke tunes. I have created a Facebook page with a growing number of members, some of whom get together every week or so – sometimes even more frequently – to sing karaoke.

So why, why am now I so immersed in karaoke? I’ve thought a lot about this, and there are several reasons.

1. Expanding Musical Horizons
As indicated previously, I am a classically trained musician. As a child I studied violin, piano, and flute. I took private lessons and performed often with my father. I grew up in a household with an extensive vinyl collection of classical, jazz, and folk music, but very little popular and rock music. I didn’t listen to any rock-n-roll (other than maybe some Beatles), and also no country and western music. It wasn’t until I was a sophomore in high school that I started listening to rock music and attending dances and parties. I didn’t attend my first rock concert until I was in college. So I was a late bloomer.

Also, I used to really detest country and western music. As I have often shared, my best friend in high school and I used to joke you could convert any song into country by just adding a “bare chicken” to it (“bare-chicka bare-chicka bare-chicka…” – you can often hear this rhythm in the drums on most country songs).

As I’ve listened to and watched people sing karaoke, I’ve come to really appreciate country and western music and have begun to sing a little myself. Other genres I have previously avoided, or only listened to, I now embrace and may sing (rap, Disney songs, show tunes, 70s and 60s pop, do-wop, etc.). I enjoy continuing to discover, rediscover, and find new joy and beauty in music I’d previously avoided or discarded.

2. Universal Acceptance and Support
I have heard a lot of karaoke singing, some good, some great, some mediocre, and some pretty awful. But I have never heard a single “boo!” or heckle. It is good karaoke form to always clap and cheer on every singer, regardless of ability, and I see that every time. The very worst response I might have witnessed was a subdued golf clap, that’s it. Never anything negative.

What could be a more potentially antagonistic situation than a stranger, dressed in a tuxedo, walking into a dive bar to sing in front of local fisherman and townspeople? When I did it, they were enthusiastic and supportive of me. How about a diminutive school teacher getting up and singing a song in Spanish in front of the same group? People got up and danced while she sang!

In a time when it seems like everywhere one turns there is argument, ad hominem attack, polarization, and friction, seeing this kindness, enthusiasm, and universal positive acknowledgement and support really warms and heals my heart.

3. Overcoming Insecurity
Nearly every person I know who sings has some insecurity about their voice. And I know some people who have amazing voices. I will never forget the first time my friend, Jennifer, got up to sing. She was tentative and had to be gently cajoled a bit to sing. Then she sang Whitney Houston’s “Saving All My Love.” My jaw hit the floor as she brought down the house. Recently, a friend, Chelsea, got up and sang Eartha Kitt, and the bar was mesmerized into silent awe. Several people told her she should try out for “The Voice” or other singing contest shows. The fellow who followed her proclaimed, “Chelsea, you’re great! I’m f***ed!” Everybody laughed, and he did fine.

I, myself have had to overcome my own insecurity about my voice. Like most, I probably could list all the things I don’t like about my voice, myself and what I am unable to do, and I would struggle to make a list of the positives. But people encourage me, just as I encourage others. I truly love to hear others sing and have to tell myself they may feel the same for me. It’s really delightful to see someone who has been tentative and fearful to sing, get up there, and gain confidence in the accolades they receive. It’s like watching a flower open up in full bloom.

4. Harmony and Healing
In karaoke, I love to sing harmony with others. Whether it’s singing Kool and the Gang or Air Supply duets with Joe, “Stumblin’ In” with Lisa, “You Don’t Bring Me Flowers” with Jennifer, “Islands in the Stream” with Rochelle, “Suddenly Seymour” with Alicia, or “Elvira” with Eric and Joe, there’s something really magical about harmonizing with someone else. Like playing string quartets, I delight in listening to and responding to others musically, supporting and being supported by them. I used to be an avid ballroom dancer, and a good duet feels as joyful and uplifting as a really well executed waltz.

The late film critic, Gene Siskel famously loved the movie “Saturday Night Fever,” so much so that he reportedly watched it 27 times and bought Travolta’s white disco jumpsuit at an auction. In a 1993 “Our Favorite Scenes” special on Siskel & Ebert, Siskel calls out the “Night Fever” routine from the movie:

As the Bee Gees music builds, these quarreling kids are brought together by the music…The music is healing as the ‘Night Fever’ dance number turns into a dream of what might be if young people could learn to dance with each other off the floor as well…What could be a better dance scene than one that shows dance as capable of bringing about…a reverie of peace?

Gene Siskel
https://siskelebert.org/?p=4351

Indeed. I’ve always believed there was much more commonality between people than difference. Singing together reaffirms this belief in my mind and in my heart. I look forward to my next karaoke session with friends, wondering who will come, what people will sing, and preparing my own song list. After a karaoke session, my feet float a little lighter with each step as I recall the songs sung, the laughs shared, and the deep feelings of joy and affection felt by and shared among my friends. It doesn’t even require one to sing; there are some friends who attend, but never never sing. They come cheer on others and dance to the music.

I cannot promise you will find the solace, healing, and communion I do in karaoke. But I encourage you to give it a try. And if you ever want to join me, you are always warmly invited.

Music and Animals

1 Reply

Music hath charms to soothe a savage breast, to soften rocks, or bend a knotted oak.

William Congreve (1697)

The number of times I have played music for a non-human audience I can count on one hand. It appears, however, that music may well move our animal fellows in ways similar to how it moves us.

While in Pendleton to perform with the Oregon East Symphony, I stayed with my friend, Emily. Here is Emily’s dog paying attention to me while I played her piano.

I was warmly rewarded for my efforts.

My friend, Hamid is a skilled healer and musician with whom I’ve enjoyed jamming on a few occasions. While we were playing, his dogs came in and disrupted our music with kisses and attempts to sit in our laps.

I enjoyed visiting my friend, Erin and her menagerie of animals. I spied a piano and sat down, which seemed to delight her cockatoo, Raspberry.

Watch closely to see us bobbing our heads at each other.

I’m not in these videos, but my friend, Jenny has a sweet dog, Buddy, who sings when she plays the violin. I love revisiting these videos often.

A Musical Weekend in Newport

2 Replies

I just returned from a weekend in Newport full of music, laughter and friendship. What a great time!

The weather was beautiful. For November, it was delightfully clear and not cold.

  • Sunrise over South Beach
  • Sunrise over South Beach
  • Sunset over Lincoln City
  • An expectant seagull
  • A blustery Nye Beach

I was in town to play viola in the Newport Symphony. Our program consisted of two marvelous works: Ernest Bloch’s Concerto Grosso, and Schubert’s Great Symphony in C. I’d like to share some thoughts about the latter.

Franz Schubert is one of my favorites composers. He died at age 31, yet left us a prodigious amount of music, some of which was not discovered and appreciated until well after his death; Such was the case for the Symphony in C.

Consider this photograph of the last measures of the last page of the viola part:

Those who read music may notice the number of measures: 1154 in total! Considering several lengthy repeats in the work, performing it can take nearly an hour. Some sections (e.g. wind and brass) may enjoy lengthy periods where they don’t play – called “rests,” which is especially appropriate for and appreciated by musicians in this work – string players such as myself enjoyed very few. We were exhausted by the sheer magnitude of the work, but played it with joy because it is such a rapturous work.

Although there are pages of repeated ideas and phrases within a section, I don’t find the work as a whole repetitive or overly long from a listener’s perspective. That being said, some enthusiastic audience members told me afterwards that they were exhausted – so emotional and great was the lengthy musical journey.

What boggles my mind is the thought of writing this thing, by hand – over 1100 measures’ worth of music. Now multiply that by the number of individual parts: 5 string parts, 8 woodwind parts, 7 brass parts, and timpani – 21 parts in total. That amounts to over 24,000 measures. So first you write the score. Then you have to write out the individual parts (for which you need multiple copies). Today, using computer transcription software that will still be a Herculean task. Hearing all that music in one’s head and writing it down by hand – I cannot imagine it.

I cannot find a photo of Schubert’s manuscript for this work, but here’s an image from his Symphony No. 8 (“Unfinished”):

9 measures with 15 staves = 135 measures. Just 178 more pages like this and you would approach the total work of his Symphony in C.

There is a dual tragedy of Schubert’s brief life.

First, he never got to hear this great work performed. He struggled in relative obscurity and suffered poor health and poverty most of his short life. Appreciation for his musical genius didn’t arrive until he was already gone. Ten years after his death, Schubert’s brother showed Robert Schumann a copy of the work, and Schumann took the copy back to Leipzig where it was performed by none other than Felix Mendelssohn. Just imagine how much music Schubert wrote that was lost forever.

Moreover, one can only imagine what wondrous more music Schubert would have composed had he lived another 5 or 10 years.

  • Ready for the first performance
  • Maestro Adam Flatt giving a pre-concert talk
  • Close friends and classmates cheering me on
  • My excellent stand partner and guest principal violist, Brooke
  • Katie and Ryan singing some post-concert karaoke

Newport Symphony performs Schubert and Bloch

1 Reply

Come to the coast for a fantastic concert by the Newport Symphony. We’ll be performing Schubert’s Great Symphony in C, and Ernest Bloch’s Concerto Grosso no. 1.

Concerts will be Saturday, November 2, at 7:30pm, and Sunday, November 3, at 2pm at the Newport Performing Arts Center (PAC). For directions, click here.

Franz Schubert is one of my favorite composers. His music combines beautiful, soaring melodies interlaced with moments of darkness and melancholy. He completed this work in 1825, just three years before his death. That he lived only to age 31 is a profound tragedy to us all. He composed an amazing amount in his short life, but one cannot help but imagine how much more of his wonderful music we would enjoy today had he lived 10 or even just 5 more years.

Ernest Bloch lived to the age of 79, more than twice as many years as Schubert. He spent the last two decades of he life in Agate Beach, OR, just a few miles north of the Newport Performing Arts Center where the Newport Symphony will perform his work. The Concerto Grosso for string orchestra with piano obbligato was composed in 1925. It is considered his best work by many critics and musicians alike.

Come see and hear us this weekend! If you do, please come up to the stage and say, “hello!”
Tickets: https://coastarts.org/events/nso-performs-bloch-and-schubert/