Summary: Facebook wants you to stay and unsurprisingly makes it difficult to leave.

I decided to completely quit Facebook. I’ve been mulling it over for quite a while but finally decided to go through with it at the end of last month. I’ve explained my reasons here and here.

However, Facebook doesn’t let you go that easily, which should come as little surprise. The behemoth data collecting company boasts over 3 billion active users every month and won’t give any of those up simply. You have to jump through some hoops to get there.

Hoop #1 Deactivation or Deletion?

Deactivating
Facebook gives you a choice between Deactivation or Deletion. Deactivating temporarily hides your profile, your posts, and all the data on Facebook — without deleting the information. All your information will disappear from view by others, but you can reactivate it anytime should you change your mind. If you want to deactivate your account but continue using Facebook Messenger, that option is available.

Depending on your Facebook app or whether you are using a browser, here are possible commands to deactivate your Facebook account:

Settings – Your Facebook Information – Deactivate Account

or

Settings & privacy – Settings – Account Center – Personal Details – Account ownership and control – Deactivation or deletion

or

Settings & privacy – Settings – Privacy – Your Facebook information – Deactivation and Deletion

The good news is that you can deactivate your account quite quickly, which is great if you really want to make your Facebook identity invisible fast. And the process is reversible if you are not ready to completely cut cord.

The bad news is that if you log into your deactivated Facebook page, your account immediately reactivates. For example, if you have a Facebook mobile app, you can easily, accidentally launch the app and reactivate your Facebook account instantly. You are not prompted whether you want to reactivate — the simple act of logging in reawakens the Facebook monster.

Additionally, if you deactivate your account, Facebook still retains all the stacks of digital data it has on you. I am uncomfortable with this given how non-transparent Facebook Meta is with the data it collects on you, so I am inclined to delete my account.

Deletion
If you are absolutely certain you want to quit Facebook completely, deletion is the answer.

However, Facebook won’t let you delete your account immediately. If you choose Deletion, your Facebook account will remain active for 30 days. After 30 days, as long as you have not logged into Facebook, you won’t be able to retrieve or reactivate your account.

If you change your mind after choosing deletion, you can cancel the process within that 30 day period.

To delete your Facebook account and content, follow the same instructions as above under “deactivation,” but choose “Delete Account” at the very end.

Facebook notes that although 30 days is the absolute cut-off date after which you cannot change your mind, it may take up to 90 days for Facebook to completely delete all your data.

Hoop #2: Backing Up Your Data

Facebook offers and encourages you to back up your data before deleting your account. Backups are always a good idea, but making a Facebook backup proves to be another significant hoop you have to jump through.

When you choose to back up your Facebook, you are provided with choices about what data you want to back up, how much history, etc. After you make your choices, Facebook tells you it may take 24 hours for the data to be prepared. When your data is ready for download, Facebook sends you an email with a link to your backup files. You have 4 days to download your files. Wait longer, and you’ll have to submit a new backup request.

I chose to back up all my Facebook data. I had already cleaned up and removed a lot of data, especially pictures and videos. Also, I had been relatively inactive and quiet on Facebook for the past 5 years. I joined Facebook in 2008, I believe, so I knew there was a lot of data from back then, but I didn’t think it would take too long.

I was wrong.

The time it took from my request for a backup to receiving my download email was … 4 days and 2 hours.

Additionally, after you finally get your download link, you are presented with a bunch of Facebook files. My list contained 13 files ranging from about 500mb to 1.5 gb each.

Large files like this can take a while to download depending on the speed of your internet connection — and make sure you have plenty of free storage space to store them!

It also may be difficult to keep track of which files have been downloaded. Although they may be labeled 1-13 on Facebook, the actual file names are like facebook-<yourname>-2025-03-03-PsKUQe7P.zip.

As you wait for each file to download, you may lose your place. If you download the same file twice, it gives each a completely random new file name.

I ended up downloading several files twice. The only way I could figure out which duplicates to delete was to compare file sizes.

Catch-22s

I decided I wanted to completely delete my Facebook account, and I wanted to make my account disappear immediately.

But.you.can’t.

If you want to delete your account, it takes 30 days for the process to complete — during which time your Facebook account is active and visible.

If you deactivate your account to make it invisible and inaccessible, you can’t delete the account.

If you want to backup your account, you don’t know whether it will take hours or days for the files to be prepared.

Don’t want to quit Facebook?

You may be willing to quit Facebook. On the other hand, you may want to reduce the amount of data shared to advertisers. John Oliver recently had a show featuring Facebook, content moderation, and data sharing.

His show created an excellent simple web page explaining how to reduce the amount of data Facebook and Instagram may track and profit off of. It has a questionable URL, but I promise it is legitimate and provides accurate information. Click here for that page.

What I Did

I requested a file backup and deactivated my account.

My Facebook profile, posts, and data disappeared immediately upon deactivation. To prevent accidental reactivation, I removed the Facebook app from my mobile devices and made sure no browser was set to automatically log into Facebook.

Then I waited.

I wasn’t sure whether the backup would work with a deactivated account, but fortunately it eventually did — 4 days later.

I clicked the link to download my backup files, which immediately logged me back into Facebook — and reactivated my account without giving me a choice. All my data and posts were again visible.

I went through the unnecessarily confusing process of downloading my backup files and again deactivated my account.

Next Steps

So, what will I do now?

I want to keep my account and data hidden from view. But I also want to completely delete my Facebook account.

To do delete Facebook, I will have to reactivate my Facebook account for 30 days, and then it will be gone. I think I will just wait a month or two with a silent/invisible and deactivated, and then choose a month in the future to activate long enough to delete my account.

Related posts

I’ve written several blog posts over the years about Facebook. Here they are:

Breaking up (with Facebook) is hard to do, March, 2025
What Can I Do: Reduce your time on social media, February, 2025
Video Poker and Facebook and Why I Avoid Both, February, 2025
Removing Facebook Advertising “Likes,” January, 2020
Facebook News to include Breitbart, October, 2019
Stories of people who left Facebook, October, 2019
Why am I leaving Facebook? October, 2019
My Facebook Exodus: Removing Pictures and Ads, October, 2019
My First Step in Quitting Facebook, October, 2019
FB Employes object to “paid civic misinformation,” October, 2019

Summary: The parallels between video poker and Facebook, how they manipulate engagement and perception, which is why I avoid both

I recently was in Las Vegas to celebrate a family member’s birthday.

I’ve never been lured to gamble, especially by any video poker machine.

If I’m with someone who really wants me to take part, I might insert a bill and play it until it is spent. I don’t expect to win anything and consider it just an expensive video arcade game. On the extremely rare moment where I win something more than my initial investment, I immediately cash out, even if it’s just a few bucks.

When I was a kid, our family enjoyed playing Tripoli, and in the past I’ve enjoyed playing Texas Hold-em with friends (for chips, never for real money). I remember my parents playing Backgammon for years, getting a bit bored with the predictability of their games, but then being reenergized when they discovered the doubling cube (used for betting) and playing for pennies, nickels, and dimes.

I’ve imagined getting into Blackjack. The odds, if you are skilled, are less tilted against the gambler, and there is the human interaction with the dealer and other players. But I’ve never taken the time to really study the game. Furthermore, I’m intimidated to do anything beyond playing for chips with friends since I’m unlikely to find Blackjack games with a nickel or dime ante.

When I see video poker machines, the psychology major in me sees devices designed and programmed to play on the flaws in our brain and perceptions. Whether they are bugs, or evolutionary features that served us in prehistory (but not today), we are primed to be fooled.

For example, if you were to flip a coin, and by chance it landed heads 7 times in a row (a 1 in 128 chance; unlikely, but possible), many people would strongly expect the eighth coin toss to come up tails. But the chances of that individual toss would still be 50-50.

Magicians, too, utilize our perceptions and logic to amaze us with slight of hand and logic that confuses and confounds us.

So do video poker machines. They are programmed to play on our flawed logic and perception. Lose several games in a row, and many expect, “oh, the next game has to be a winner!” Every so often, the game may give you a win, giving you that spurt of adrenaline and dopamine. Win big, and lights flash and sounds blare, catching the attention of those around you, adding to their excitement (and anticipation of their own potential good fortune).

I remember Neil deGrasse Tyson telling a story about a large convention for physicists or some similar scientific discipline that took place in Las Vegas. He alleged that that week was one of Las Vegas’ worst weeks and that the convention was prohibited from coming to Las Vegas again. Apocryphal or not, the message was that people who understand math or human psychology are less likely to be lured by the siren call of video poker machines.

Okay, so what the heck does this have to do with Facebook?!?

For decades, Facebook (now Meta) has been one of the most popular social media platforms worldwide. One recent report claims there are 2.11 billion users who actively use it daily, and over 3 billion who use it monthly.

I remember holding out joining Facebook, but finally caving in late 2008. I became an active user for many years, but in 2019, decided to quit. I wrote my reasons why here.
But I kept lurking, and I remained active in some private Facebook groups (for family, classmates, and my karaoke group).

Yes, but what has this to do with video poker?

Facebook/Meta needs people to engage, and has found the best way to grab and hold eyeballs and get people to engage is to provoke them. Its algorithms promote the posts most likely to arouse anger and frustration. That will get people to punch the like/anger reaction buttons, post comments in favor or against, and engage in back-and-forth debates. And Facebook has made the conscious decision to remove the last semblance of fact-checking.

So, video poker machines manipulate us, luring us with flashing lights, animated videos, and sound effects, ensnaring us into engaging with the enticement of possible winnings, whereas Facebook manipulates us into engaging by provoking our righteous anger and indignation, our desire to passionately defend our views and beliefs, and attack those who disagree with us.

I choose not to engage in either. I’ve long avoided video poker gambling, and am now completely removing myself from Facebook Meta. I believe there are better ways to communicate my views and to connect with friends and family, without my posts being manipulated and curated by a for-profit data-collecting entity.

Here is what I posted on 2-20-2025, my last public post on Facebook Meta:

In October 2019, I decided to quit Facebook. I stopped posting, commenting, and reacting publicly. I explained my reasons in a Facebook post (Oct 30, 2019) and in a linked blog post.

I broke my social media fast in 2020 for a couple months at the beginning of the pandemic, posting videos of music and hope during the start of that dark time. It was my valiant attempt to spread hope and light. That lasted only a few months and I went publicly silent again in June, 2020.

This is my first public post since June, 2020, and it will be my last on Meta.

I didn’t completely quit Facebook, however. I continued to host and post in private groups (family, classmate, my karaoke circle). And I continued to use FB Messenger, also used by so many of my friends all over the world.

I silently watched FB, sometimes reaching out privately to friends and family in response to something they posted. And of course I appreciated reminders of friends’ birthdays and other events. I also joined Instagram, enjoying sharing and viewing beautiful and funny images.

But now I am going to completely give up Facebook, Facebook Messenger, and Instagram. All the reasons that pushed me to go silent publicly five and a half years ago have only gotten worse — by a lot.

Meta algorithms continue to foment anger, division, and hatred by pushing and spreading posts that provoke. The previous systems to fact-check, as weak and imperfect as they were, have completely been removed. Posts by family and friends are buried amid advertisements and “promoted” posts, despite my regular hours-long efforts to block and reject unwanted advertisers and unrequested media outlets.

I cannot contribute to this system, which at best, shows my tacit acceptance and support, and at worse, contributes to, promotes, and legitimizes this system.

Socrates is supposed to have instructed us to ask ourselves these questions before speaking: “Is it true; is it kind; or is it necessary?” I try (and frequently fail) to follow this directive. But Facebook Meta, by design, promotes and pushes the exact opposite. This is why I am finally, completely quitting Facebook, FB Messenger, and Instagram.

If you want to follow me, you can read and bookmark my blogs link here:

Posts

If you want to communicate with me, contact me through my blog or LinkedIn (as well as email and SMS text). I have no plans to join an alternative social media platform.

Be safe, stay in touch, and be the change you want to see in the world.

-Toby